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Every marketer has heard the advice: “Speak to your customer’s pain points.” But too often, this guidance results in vague headlines, generic benefit statements, and copy that fails to connect.

Here’s the hard truth: your messaging probably isn’t failing because your product is bad. It’s failing because you’re addressing the wrong kind of pain.

In our recent webinar, we spoke to Katelyn Bourgoin, one of the most respected voices in customer-led marketing, she broke down what most brands get wrong about messaging. 

Her insight? People don’t buy solutions. 

They buy relief from specific, relatable problems.

And those problems live across three distinct layers of pain: surface-level symptoms, emotional frustration, and strategic consequences.

Let’s start where most messaging doesn’t: with the struggle.

Why Customers Don’t Respond to Your Message

Most B2B and SaaS companies lead with their features:

“We help teams collaborate.”
“We automate your workflows.”
“We reduce friction across departments.”

It sounds nice. But it rarely moves anyone to act.

Why? Because these messages are built around the product, not the customer’s lived experience. 

As Katelyn explains, people don’t buy for abstract benefits like “efficiency” or “productivity.” They buy to fix something specific that’s making their workday harder.

“The more concrete the scenario, the more credible the promise.” — Katelyn Bourgoin

So how do you identify those real, purchase-driving problems?

The 3 Layers of Customer Pain (Framework)

Effective messaging doesn’t start with the value proposition. It starts with pain — and not just any pain, but the kind your customers already feel, think about, and try (unsuccessfully) to fix.

Bourgoin introduces a powerful framework to break this down:

1. Surface-Level Pain

This is the visible frustration. It’s what customers say in reviews, surveys, and sales calls.

Examples:

  • “I waste hours copying data between tools.”
  • “I’m stuck chasing my team for updates.”

This layer is the most accessible. It shows up in search queries, user complaints, and comparison posts. But if your messaging stops here, it won’t create urgency.

2. Emotional Frustration

This is how the surface pain makes them feel. It’s more personal and often more powerful.

Examples:

  • “I feel like I’m the only one doing the work.”
  • “I’m exhausted trying to stay on top of everything.”

Emotional friction is what turns a problem into a must-fix. It’s also the layer most marketers skip because it requires empathy, not just data.

3. Strategic Consequence

This is what’s really at stake. It connects the personal to the professional.

Examples:

  • “I’m burning out and missing strategic work.”
  • “I’m afraid this will impact our growth targets.”

If you want messaging that makes people think “I need this,” not “that’s nice,” you need to hit all three layers.

Where to Find Real Customer Pain

Most messaging problems are listening problems. If you’re stuck writing vague copy, you’re probably trying to be clever instead of being close to the customer.

Here’s where the best marketers source their insights.

Voice of Customer (VoC) Data Sources
  • Sales and onboarding calls — Transcribe and tag frustrations and objections
  • Support tickets — Look for repeated issues and workarounds
  • Customer reviews (G2, Capterra) — Search for emotionally charged language
  • Community platforms (Reddit, Slack, Facebook groups) — Where users speak freely and emotionally
  • Lost deal feedback — Critical source of unmet needs and unclear messaging

How to Use the 3-Layer Framework in Messaging

Let’s take a generic B2B value proposition and rework it using the three layers of pain.

Original:

“We streamline your team’s workflows with powerful automations.”

Rewritten Using All 3 Layers:

Headline: “No more manually copying data between apps just to build a report.”
Subhead: “You’re not the only one drowning in duplicate work. Let’s fix that.”
Body copy: “Your team didn’t sign up to chase spreadsheets and copy-paste dashboards. You’re missing out on strategic work while stuck doing grunt work. Our platform automates the chaos so you can focus on what matters.”

Now the message reflects:

  • The surface pain (manual data work)
  • The emotional frustration (feeling alone and stuck)
  • The strategic consequence (missing higher-value work)

This messaging doesn’t just explain. It resonates.

Build a Living Swipe File (Not a Static Message Doc)

Too many teams treat messaging as a one-time project. But the best messaging evolves over time.

What to Collect in Your Swipe File

Organize your swipe file by:

  • Pains and symptoms
  • Failed attempts or workarounds
  • Desired outcomes
  • Emotional triggers
  • Quotes and metaphors

Format tip: Use Notion, Airtable, or a shared Google Sheet. Tag entries by persona, funnel stage, and context (sales call, review, Reddit, etc.).

Validate Before You Publish

Even strong messaging is still a hypothesis until it’s tested.

Ways to Test Your Copy
  1. A/B test customer-sourced headlines vs. default messaging.
  2. Message-market fit surveys:
    • Ask: “What’s unclear, unrealistic, or not compelling about this?”
  3. Cold outreach test:
    • Use customer phrasing in subject lines and monitor open/reply rates.

You’ll quickly see what lands and what’s still too vague.

When Messaging Fails, Revisit Your Positioning

Sometimes, the problem isn’t in the words. It’s in the strategy behind the words.

Before rewriting your homepage or headline:

  • Ask: Who exactly is this for, and who is it not for?
  • Ask: What specific problem do we solve better than anyone else?
  • Ask: Why now? What makes this urgent or valuable today?

If your answer is unclear, your message will be too.

Weak positioning leads to diluted messaging even if the copy is polished.

Key Takeaways

  • People don’t buy benefits. They buy relief. Messaging that works starts with real, specific customer struggles.
  • There are three layers of pain to reflect in your copy:
    • Surface pain (what they say)
    • Emotional friction (how it feels)
    • Strategic consequence (what’s at risk)
  • Use Voice of Customer data everywhere — from headlines to email subject lines.
  • Keep a living swipe file with categorized phrases, quotes, and triggers.
  • Test and evolve. Your best message today may not be the right one next quarter.

Final Thought: The Best Copy Doesn’t Convince. It Reflects.

If your messaging isn’t converting, don’t ask “How do I make this more persuasive?”
Ask instead: “Am I showing them I understand what they’re actually going through?”

Great copy doesn’t try harder to sell. It listens better.

And when your customers feel seen, understood, and relieved, that’s when they buy.

Want to hear how real marketers uncovered the exact words that made customers say, “This is me”?

Watch the full session with Katelyn Bourgoin and learn how to craft messaging that doesn’t just inform. It deeply connects.